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My Fair Kitty
Razor - Barry Gordon * T-Bone - Charles Adler * Commander Ulysses Feral - Gary Owens * Lieutenant Toby Furlong - Kevin Conroy * Callie Briggs - Tress MacNeille * Lieutenant Felina Feral - Lori Alan * Mayor Manx - Jim Cummings Guest Cast (in order of appearance): * Alan Agechamber – Michael Bell * Baby Callie Briggs - Russi Taylor * Baby Felina Feral - Jeannie Elias Supporting Cast (in order of appearance): * Enforcer #1 - Barry Gordon * Enforcer #2 - Rob Paulsen * Enforcer #3 - Corey Burton * Screaming Man - Neil Ross Transcript Act One: Alan Agechamber: (evil laughs) Eh he he he he he he he he he he he he! (shoots Callie and Felina with an age-changing gun and turn them into babies) SCENE END (One day In Jake and Chance's Garage scene) Razor: Isn't this the financing ways to make it look beautiful, T-Bone? T-Bone: Not the overboard snack of the wild wallop full of a lunch combinaion! (gobbles up the food, then loud belches) Razor: Now I wonder who could that might be? We should check out. T-Bone: Let's go. Razor: (gasps) What are they? T-Bone: Who are the slurping fur of the gross stuff? Razor: Ahem. (two baby kittens cooing) Razor and T-Bone: Aaaawww... Razor: Aawww, look how they're sweetest as a honey, they're so cute! T-Bone: Ha ha! very funny! Razor: Just look how they're adorable! come see for those precious wecious cutie itty bitty kitties. T-Bone: I don't know Razor, the only problem is that Feral is going to be extremely disappointed. Razor: Just look on a bright side T-Bone, at least the way it seems that Feral is going to be so happy. T-Bone: It seems that we are going to be fathers, and big brothers, and uncles. Razor: Good thinking, T-Bone! T-Bone: Yep! Razor and T-Bone: Let's do it! SCENE END (inside Jake and Chance's Garage) Razor: Okay, buddy, so you better keep an eye on them, it wasn't pretty sure if Feral give us a reward, Capisce? T-Bone: Gotcha covered! Razor: Good, now get caring. T-Bone: Whoa, Felina. You look little. You stood up a bit. Razor: You could say this again, but you couldn't get your own way. (Razor gobbles a small cheese sandwich and a piece of a vanilla cheesecake, then gulps) T-Bone: and Callie, you too. But those Enforcers are in danger, and Feral needs us help. (Razor drink glugs a can of milk) Razor: Oh, I'm so enthusiasm alright, and things are making Feral exhaust. T-Bone: Let me show you. Peekaboo! I see you. Baby Callie / Baby Felina: (laughs) Razor: Hey! I remember that. Peekaboo! I see ya. Baby Callie / Baby Felina: (laughs) Razor: (laughs) It's fun when we are playing together today, eh, T-Boy? T-Bone: Yes siree. I like it a lot! SCENE END Feral: Where's that Deputy Mayor Miss Callie Briggs?! Manx: Okay okay, I confess! I didn't hurt Callie! I promise! Feral: And where's that Lieutenant Felina Feral, my niece?! Manx: It was swell! I didn't hurt Lieutenant Feral either, I swear! Feral: If it wasn't the SWAT Kats fault. Then explain it! Or else you are gonna get a bad reputation forever and ever! Got it?! Manx: Well, what you look at that, Commander. (looks at a screen of baby Callie and baby Felina) Aww. Isn't it cute? Commander, come, I would like you to meet my precious wecious cutie-ful kitty babies. (Razor and T-Bone looks at a screen of TV) And how they're adorable as beautifully yet lovely angels! (cries) Razor / T-Bone: Huh? Feral: Then go ahead, Answer it! Manx: Ouch! Why me! SCENE END Razor: Uh, T-Boy, have you ever seen any food left? T-Bone: Uh, well I uh... Razor: Answer it! T-Bone: Uh, Sorry, sir. That was the last one. Razor: Huh? T-Bone: It's the only way to reach it or I'll reach yourself, I can't find it. (baby Callie and baby Felina upsets their stomachs and have their sad eyes) Razor: Aaawww..You poor kitty, You must be hungry. We should come to the market, and buy some food, Okay? Come on. SCENE END (at supermarket) Razor: Did you get them all? T-Bone: Yep. No problemo! SCENE END (back at Jake and Chance's garage) Razor: We're back at the garage! T-Bone: And we got a lot of food! Now what should we do? Hmm... I know! Playtime! Cowabunga! Razor: Huh? T-Bone: Yaaaaaaaayy! Yippeeeee! Baby Callie / Baby Felina: Woooooooah! (laughs) Razor: Uh, T-Bone, Are you sure this is a playtime? T-Bone: Yeah, buddy, This is a playtime! You both kitties like them! Razor: That's nice of it. (gasps) T-Bone, Look out for the banana peel! T-Bone: Huh? Where? I don't see anything. Woooah! Baby Callie / Baby Felina: Wooaaaaaaaaah!! Ooww! (baby Callie and baby Felina begins to cry) Baby Callie / Baby Felina: (cries) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Razor: (gasps) Aww no! Now look what you made these kitties cry! (offscreen) T-Bone! T-Bone: What? Razor: (offscreen) Are you hurting those itty bitty kitties?! T-Bone: I'm sorry. I didn't hurt them! It was an accident! Razor: It's okay, T-Boy. Here, I'll give them some nice bandages. (Razor gave baby Callie / baby Felina some bandages, then stopped crying) Razor: Aaah. There you go. It's all better now. Yeah. All better. (kitties cooing happily) Razor: Aww, Mmm.. Man, looks like you must be hungry today. T-Bone: What should we do? Razor: Feeding time! T-Bone: Comin' right up! Razor: Okay, kitties, Open wide up. Baby Callie / Baby Felina: Hmph! T-Bone: Come on kitties, Open wide up and say Aaahh! Baby Callie / Baby Felina: Aaahh! (puts them the spoon on their mouths) Razor: (giggles) See, T-Bone? Looks like they're getting these growing women, Actually, I think it taste so good. T-Bone: It sure was, buddy. SCENE END Razor: Cootchie cootchie coo! Who's the cutest baby kitty girls in the whole wide world? Cootchie cootchie cootchie coo! Yes you are! (Baby Callie / Baby Felina laughs) Razor: Aww..Aren't they so cute when we are having an awesome time today, eh, T-Bone? T-Bone: Funny. Except for Feral who doesn't wanna come to our garage in a moment. He he he. SCENE END Commander Feral: What?! Are you crazy, Mayor?! I can't believe that you did all the assignments mixed up! Mayor: (weeps) Why do I have to become a slave all year long? Why? Commander Feral: Ugh. I am extremely upset that you are gonna be in big trouble! Keep working and you can have your chances back! Mayor: B b but.. Commander Feral: No buts! I already told you that you don't have to mess the assignments up ever again! Act Two: Lt. Toby: Well, guys. Looks like this is it. Enforcer #1: I think it made up. Enforcer #2: You said it. Enforcer #3: But how do we catch the villain? Lt. Toby: Only one way to find out. SCENE END Razor: T-Bone, can you bring me some safety pins? So let it change some diapers a bit. T-Bone: Speak for yourself! (sniffs) Razor: (sniffs) Wheeew! Maan, I told ya that you did changing some of these diapers. T-Bone: (sniffs) I smell a cover up. Razor: Cover up? Ugh. What do you mean cover up? T-Bone: Yep, That's what I said. An oxygen theory. SCENE END Commander Feral: Did you finish them all of the assignments yet?! Manx: (weeps) Yes! Commander Feral: Well, good...............(smirk laughs). SCENE END Razor: There. All changed. T-Bone: And that's a one Diaper Duo Dash! Razor: Uh, any got some milk bottles? T-Bone: Well..nope! Razor: Then where is it?! T-Bone: I don't see any milk bottles! Razor: Well then go bring the milk! T-Bone: Uh..Razor....I think...it's empty! Baby Callie / Baby Felina: (cries) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Razor: There there now, You are a poor poor girl, Aaaww, Don't worry, Callie. T-Bone: You too. Razor: Shh shh shh. There there girl. I'll get it for you. (Baby Callie happy) T-Bone: I'll get it for you too. Don't worry, Felina. (Baby Felina happy) Razor: (sighs happily) (laughs) See, T-Bone? I told you if the plan might working 'cause we're volunteers while working as care taking careers. T-Bone: I have to admit, Razor. Being grown ups are ultra helpful after all. SCENE END Alan Agechamber: (evil laughs) Enforcer #1: Uh oh! Enforcer #2: Incoming! Enforcer #3: Duck! Alan Agechamber: (evil laughs) Enforcers: Whew! Lt. Toby: That was close. Enforcer #1: Yeah, really close. Lt. Toby: You guys okay? Enforcers: Yeah. SCENE END T-Bone: But let's remember Mayor's just one guy and he didn't have a good day. Razor: Well, here's some milk bottles. T-Bone: That's all I'm gonna need. Sorry, That is the last one. Sold out. Baby Callie / Baby Felina: (cries) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! T-Bone: Whoa, no! Gee, I didn't hurt their feelings. I didn't feel upset about something. Razor: I guess you're right! What did you do if you're gonna tell both of them to calm down?! T-Bone: Calm down? What? Oh, wait. I have another idea. Shh shh. There there you poor itty bitty kitties. (baby Callie and baby Felina both stopped crying) I'll be very protective if I was you. (baby Callie and baby Felina are laugh happily) Razor: Aaaww, T-Bone just calm them down. T-Bone: There you go. Razor: It's okay, Callie. I'm sure if you are feeling better. T-Bone: You too, Felina. (belches loudly) Razor: Wheew! T-Bone, did you just had their food? T-Bone: Yep, I bet I'll pardon yourselves. Razor: Well, Mind your own way. 'Cause I had their food too! (belches loudly) Peeeeew! T-Bone: Did you get a furball already yet? Razor: No, I uh, just (burps) Whew! and I (burps) Whew! and I just got my own food. Pardon me too. Whoa, You two are hungry again. Why don't you turn on a sweet and lovely lullaby music and have some nice nap, it'll cheer them up. T-Bone: Okay. (turns on a lullaby music) What do ya think? It turn it on. Razor: Yeah. (yawns) You know, I am getting exhausted. T-Bone: (yawns) Yeah yeah. Sure sure. SCENE END Manx: Aww, Did you hear that, Feral? All the lullabies are so cute. (Feral punches him) Ow! Commander Feral: Shut it! SCENE END Razor: (yawns) Yeah, well especially if I'm in charge of it, I guess it could take so many spendful time together. T-Bone: (yawns) I'm in charge of it, too. Baby Callie / Baby Felina: (yawns) Razor: You two must be tired, today. It looks like you two should get a nap, You two need a story. T-Bone: Yeah, You said the nap is a good idea. Tell them. Razor: Okay. Once upon a time, there was a brave warrior who lives in a Megalith City. He plants some flowers in a garden since it's the first day of Spring. So he walked through the woods, he grabbed a sword and a shield, and then he runs back to the castle. When he saw a beautiful princess who got kidnapped by the Pastmaster, He fought the Pastmaster twice as easy as much as he thought it could be. And so a brave warrior saved a beautiful princess for the best time, and then they're married and they lived happily ever after. The end. T-Bone: Wow, Razor. You're good at this. Razor: Yes. You kitties love this story as they pleased. Sweet dreams, Callie. (kiss) T-Bone: Sweet dreams, Felina. (kiss) (as Razor and T-Bone both are lying down in the sofa with their baby kittens, then Razor and T-Bone both snore) Act Three: Commander Feral: I'm so disappointed of your foolishness. You two SWAT Kats are driving me nuts! Could these two are blubbering around the humble room in the salvage yard area? Manx: But they did a very good job, Feral. Commander Feral: Not today, dummy! SCENE END Razor / T-Bone: (snores) SCENE END Commander Feral: This villain who changes an any kat into an any age from young to old. He was Alan Agechamber. Manx: Alan Agechamber? Commander Feral: That's right! He's still a menace. SCENE END Commander Feral: (offscreen) SWAT Kats! Get over here right now! We need to explain about this! (they're both stop snoring) Razor: Huh? Oh. (yawns) Oh, can you hear me Commander Feral, sir? Say something. T-Bone: (yawns) Commander Feral: (offscreen) I said we need to explain! SCENE END Razor: Why are you doing here in this office anyway? Commander Feral: Because, This is my office, and this is where I live! Razor: No way! This villain changed the deputy mayor and the lieutenant into these kittens, Why else can you tell them? Commander Feral: Meaninglessly, I'm not staying happy until you two get that nasty villain! And besides you two are gonna regret it! Razor: Look, Feral, If you are gonna be so sorry If we we're you. 'cause we're not fathers! T-Bone: And uncles! Razor and T-Bone: Not to mention that we aren't brothers anymore! Commander Feral: That's not the point you two blubbering kats- Face it! If you two are gonna catch that Alan Agechamber no matter what. Then you two are gonna get rewards! You two got that?! (Razor and T-Bone kiss Feral's finger) Commander Feral: Good. Now march it to jet! SCENE END (running) Razor: Code Red! Looks like this nasty Agechamber who tries to go anywhere. T-Bone: No doubt. Feral won't stand a chance against that Agechamber if we're running out of time in a square t-minus 30 seconds flat. Razor: You can say that again! Plus they need our help to stop an Agechamber from getting his claws on an age-changing ray gun! T-Bone: You betcha! Our hopes are gonna need us for a huge planet in the entire universe. (back at Jake and Chance's garage) Razor: Phew! Looks like we need you both help to get that ray gun, so then you both get turned to normal back. SWAT Kats! To the jet! T-Bone: You kitties come with us! To the jet! SCENE END (flies to the Turbokat) Baby Callie / Baby Felina: Wheeeeee! (laughs) Razor: Woo hoo! How do you two kitties like having our own Turbokat, T-Boy? T-Bone: Superb, Razorman! Razor: I like that. T-Bone: Look who's riding? Razor: It's Feral. (radio vio) Hey, Commander. Looks like me and T-Bone took care of these cutie kitties. We are definitely okay! Feral: Yes. I know. T-Bone: (radio vio) And you helped the Mayor that he did the assignments! Feral: I heard that! Razor: Woo! Man, looks like we sure did have an awesome time, T-Bone. T-Bone: No doubt. I would call you a hot-shot. Razor: And I can call you a sure-shot. Deal? T-Bone: Deal! Razor: Mmm..We like that! T-Bone: That oughta flip their problem! SCENE END Alan Agechamber: (evil laughs) Take this! Man: Aaaaaaaah! Alan Agechamber: Oh, those SWAT Kats will never gonna stop me now! Won't they? (evil laughs) SCENE END Baby Callie / Baby Felina: Wheeeeeeeee! (laughs) Razor: We come so far in the Megakat City and we are in a totally triumph together! T-Bone: And Feral likes that we would work as a team! Razor: So, Callie. Would you like to try to push these missiles, just in case? Baby Callie: Mmm hmm. Razor: Awesome choice. Now you gotta put that Miracle Minded Missiles, and fast! T-Bone: To get the age-changing ray gun back! And Felina, would like to try my cockpit? Baby Felina: Mmm hmm. T-Bone: Now you got it! Razor: Miracle Minded Missiles. T-Bone: Deploy! Alan Agechamber: What the- Aaaugh! Razor: Next missile! I'm gonna use - T-Bone: Buzz-Saw Slicer-Banshee Grenade-Bolo Cement-Barrage, Away! Alan Agechamber: Noo! Razor: Awesome combining, T-Boy! Now let's get an age-changing ray gun! Any ideas you could combine these missiles? T-Bone: Yep. You still workin' on it. Razor: Then what's it called? T-Bone: Missile Combination! Razor: Eureka! That's it! Missile Combination! Okay. R-plus Missiles... T-Bone: T-B-minus Missiles... Razor / T-Bone: Twin Threat Missiles! Deploy! Now! Alan Agechamber: Oh no! My ray gun! Razor / T-Bone: Bingo! Razor: Mmm..Aaaah..That feel good. T-Bone: Yeah, real good. SCENE END Alan Agechamber: Ugh. What happened? (gasps) And my ray gun is..gone! Razor: Looking for this? Alan Agechamber: Wha- T-Bone: He he. You mean more like this? Alan Agechamber: What? Uh..Nooo! (Razor and T-Bone beats him up) Owch! (dizzy) Uuuh.. Razor: Hurray! We did it! T-Bone: Now I got the ray gun, and when the horrible villain gets a little upset, that you didn't say goodbye, Razor! Take it away! Enforcers: Yeah! Alan Agechamber: (cries) Why me? SCENE END Razor: You never know, Commander. I'm sure Callie and Felina are both are gonna be okay! T-Bone: Time to get change back into their regular sizes once it for all! (T-Bone uses an age-changing ray gun to turn Callie and Felina back to normal) Callie / Felina: Uuuh... Callie: (gasp) I'm me again! Aww, Thank you so much, Razor! Razor: Aww, There you are, Callie. Come here you! (kiss Callie's cheek) Felina: Me too! Aww, T-Bone, you're back! Thanks to you too! T-Bone: Shucks! (licks Felina's cheek) Manx: Oooh, Callie, I missed you so much! (crying) Commander Feral: Well, Felina. I'm so sick and worried about you. You're the best. Razor: I guess it's good to have Callie back to normal now. T-Bone: You bet. And it's good to have Felina back to a regular size. Commander Feral: But I just hope you two are learned all the valuable lessons that you did today.......and by the way....Gimmie that! (changes Mayor into a baby) There! Baby Manx: Ga ga goo goo! Commander Feral: See, citizens? I told you if that might work this time. You two will have a job to do! Baby Manx: (cooing) (laughs) Razor / T-Bone: What?! (both faints) Callie / Felina: (giggles) Category:SWAT Kats episode transcripts Category:Season 2 Category:1994